‘Spare a thought’ #2 Expat life through a new mother’s eyes

 

This month I have been very lucky to be able to read some lovely stories from people wanting to take part in our “Spare a Thought’ series. It has been such a wonderful mix of happy, sad, funny, wise and inspirational stories, I have really enjoyed reading them all. I have chosen to feature this story written by Rachel, The Expat Mumsy for #2 in the series.

Rachel is about to make the move home to Brisbane, Australia, after 10 years living between Australia and the UK. Rachel tells us how she feels about taking her sweet nearly 2 year old daughter away from her precious first friends. I’m sure a lot of you will relate to her moving words.

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Rachel and Thea from The Expat Mumsy

 

In 2 weeks we are moving. Not down the road, not to the next town or city. No, we are moving 10272 miles (or 16531 kms!) to my original home of Brisbane, Australia. Now, I have done the international move 3 times already so you think I would be an expert in saying my goodbyes, but this time around my husband and I will also be taking our almost 2-year-old little lady Thea.

Being a first-time parent I had no idea how early children could start to form friendships. Although in hindsight my bestie and I practically forced the friendship of our little loves (read future arranged marriage).  Thea and Harley BFF’s. Harley has known Thea since the day she was born, and there are only 5 months separating them. You know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”; well I found it so hard being away from my mum and not knowing any other mums in my area, Harley’s mum Lauren became my village. My absolute village. But that is another story!

So back to Thea and Harley. These past 2 years they have seen each other at least once a week if not more. Played together, gone on holidays together, shared baths together, sometimes even face timed each other! Who knew such a bond would happen so early in life? In the past few months it has become so evident how clearly they recognise each other when they meet and how distraught they are when they part. I have a video of Harley on my phone that we have to watch every day to keep the tears at bay. So imagine my growing sadness and guilt knowing that in 2 weeks we will be leaving and Thea will have to say goodbye to Harley. Knowing that the only playdates they will have now will be over Skype…perfectly timed when it is morning in the UK and night time in Australia. Where are my tissues??

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Harley & Thea really enjoying bath time!

On top of knowing that they will miss each other at first, what happens if they forget each other? And the friendship is just a distant memory because I’m being an embarrassing mum, showing Thea cute photos of them in the bath, and videos of them sharing a cheeky kiss.

When I really think about it, I think I am sad not because they won’t see each other in person for a while, but because I won’t get to see them together. To play and grow and learn and giggle and share cheeky kisses.

However, kids are resilient and adapt to change. I do know that moving is going to be great for her. Sunshine and beaches and a better quality of life for the 3 of us. She is going to start creating new friendships and I will still be able to watch her grow and play and giggle. And thank God for technology!! Because even from a far she will still be able to see her Harley.

 

Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but you know they’re always there – Old Saying


If you enjoyed this article and want to read more by The Expat Mumsy head over to her blog and click follow!! You will find all sorts of awesome posts about expat life and motherhood.

You can also follow Rachel and Thea’s adventures on Instagram too. So check it out!


 

If you think you would like to write about your experience of ‘Expat Life’ for our ‘Spare a Thought’ series, please get in touch. Are you about to turn down the opportunity to move away because of a loved one? Did you follow your loved ones abroad to be close to them?  Just one email to us, and you could be sharing your story with thousands of followers all over the world and helping others make that life changing decision.

 

Will I ever unpack completely?

Last week was the first time Poppy has said she has no desire to move back to the UK. I think she really meant it.  This should make me feel ecstatic that she is so settled but it hasn’t. In fact, if I’m honest with you, it’s broken my heart a little; I’m still hanging on to that trip home, as ridiculous and ungrateful as that sounds. It’s ridiculous because I am so happy here, I am utterly besotted with Melbourne. However, I’m still really emotional about who we left behind, and I’m definitely not ready to utter the words “I’m here for good!”

I guess in Poppy’s little life, her 8 years on this planet, two years is a fair chunk! Going from a 6-year-old with no front teeth to an all-out Aussie 8-year-old can only mean one thing; if and when we decide to pack up and move on, she’s not going to be too chuffed. Gosh, neither of the children will be. The time when she couldn’t imagine being sad to leave here has gone, and now, heading into our third year away, she barely remembers anything about our old life, and I’m finding that a little too much to bear! I insist on asking her questions about our old house, or the route we used to bike to the park. I ask her if she remembers the walks we used to go on, the pizza place we all loved. She has no idea, yet she looks deep into my eyes and tells me a completely fictitious story about all of those things.

She’s doing it for me isn’t she? She knows I miss home, she knows I want her to have strong memories of what we did, where we went and who we shared our time with. She has barely any memory of the UK, and yet she stands here in front of me trying her best to make me believe she does. It truly shows me how compassionate she is, how aware she is of others emotions and how she will always endeavour to make the best out of a situation. This is what being an expat has taught her. To be resilient, to be aware of other people, to look after ‘us’ because essentially we’re all we have.

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Sitting on the banks of the Yarra

We really are living the dream; we’re that family who waved goodbye to their loved ones and travelled to Australia with hopes and dreams that quickly became a blissful reality. Australia has given us so much more than we could ever have imagined. Our adventures, our lifestyle, the children’s opportunities, and their dodgy accents. As time goes on, I am fast approaching the real possibility that we may never be able to move back home without a serious fight on our hands. Our children are getting older, making real friendships, getting fully ensconced in the education system, joining sports teams, Poppy’s falling for the cute boy in her class (I know…). But it’s real. It’s life, and the longer we’re here the more we need to prepare ourselves for the reality of either tearing our settled kids away from this blissful existence or putting up with the longing to be nearer our friends and family. What is the job of a parent if not to give your children the best life possible? And for us, at this moment, this is where they are happy!

Will I ever stop grieving for the life I left behind? Am I really wanting to go back, or am I just doing what every expat does, remembering and highlighting the best bits, and completely ignoring the reasons why we left in the first place?  Will I ever stop living this “what if we leave” life? Not buying a lawn mower because we may not be here for long. Trying to make friends whilst trying my best to ignore the heartache that comes with leaving them behind. Building a beautiful childhood for our children whilst knowing that it may just become a distant memory as we move them on again. Can I settle? Can I relax? Can I fully unpack? Do I just go with the flow and hope that this chapter ends in beautiful friendships, wonderful memories, and endless letters in the post box? Or should I be preparing myself for yet more years of homesickness for us all? Only, this time we’ll be yearning for our Australian home? As the children get older and the visa in Australia starts to run down I’m preparing myself to teach them the heartache of leaving our home again. If I can’t learn that, how can I possibly help them?

 

We chose to give them this life, we chose to teach them about the world, we chose to take them to as many places as we can whilst they are young. The thing that I hadn’t banked on as we have been falling in love with so many destinations is the heartache they feel when we leave. Holiday blues are a real thing, but imagine if you were leaving a whole life behind every time you stepped onto a plane.

I’m not sure I had banked on the “living like I’m going home” way I am approaching our lives. Living in limbo, just in case the time comes to move on.  All I can hope is that the children remain as happy as they are. I hope they continue to make a wonderful life for themselves, embrace everything we have been given; and then, if and when the time comes to wave goodbye, I pray that we will have given them all the skills they need to be able to happily pack these memories firmly in their mind as we head off on yet another adventure!

 

Olivia xxx

 

“Do not tell them how to do it. Show them how to do it and do not say a word. If you tell them, they will watch your lips move. If you show them, they will want to do it themselves”

 Maria Montessori

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goodbye Summer, Hello Autumn

So here we are; another few weeks have passed and this year seems to have picked up some serious pace. I really feel like January the 1st hit and I’ve been spinning in circles ever since. Autumn is officially here!

It’s almost the end of term one; the kids just adore school (thank god), and I’m abso-bloody-lutely loving them being there. The house only gets messy between 4 and 6 in the evening, and I can watch, listen to and eat whatever I want all day long with no one looking over my shoulder or demanding I switch off my beloved Michael Bolton album. I know!! (Don’t worry mothers of pre school children, your time will come my pretty’s!)

I have had such an incredible month of being focussed and really pushing myself to write more. I’ve been busy making connections with some awesome, talented ladies who make up a local gaggle of bloggers. I went to my very first ‘Bloggers meet up’ at Boneo Maze and Mini Golf to talk about blogging, get advice, and learn some wonderful tips on getting our blogs to be the best they can be (bear with me, it will take time). Not only that, the morning tea that was served up was absolutely delicious and forced me to ditch the diet for an hour or so. Safe to say I gobbled as many of the caramel slices and as much cake as I could without making too much of an exhibition of myself. I excelled myself. Thankfully we were able to walk off a bit of the cake whilst we explored the place and what a treat that was. The sun was shining, there was so much to see and do, and I was child free! Oh yeah, go me! To be fair, the kids would have bloody loved this place, and I will take them one day, but I just can’t tell you how beautiful it is exploring places as an adult, on my own, with time to talk, drink a hot coffee without interruption and engage in adult conversation without the constant “don’t touch that,” “stop hitting your sister with that stick,” “put the possum down Monty, it’s a wild animal” etc etc etc. Honestly, it’s exhausting just writing about parenting my two, let alone actually trying to master it! So with all this fun I’ve been having I have been literally run out of hours in the day to do much else. That reminds me, I must attempt to get a brush through my hair today, it resembles a rather large tumble weed at present.

So what have the rest of the Wilson’s been up to? Well, we have been making the most of what this awesome city has to offer. Tim took Monty to his first proper game of soccer at Aami Park. They were in corporate hospitality so they weren’t slumming it in the stands by any sense of the imagination! Monty was being served mini burgers and lashings of lemonade by the lovely waitresses, whilst kicking a football around the room with a few of the guys that were there to watch Melbourne v Sydney. Monty adores soccer. I have been trying my best to push him toward rugby, AFL or Footie as they call it here but he’s having none of it. He’s soccer all the way! (Oh gosh, I’m calling Football Soccer and Soccer football, it’s even confusing me, so I hope you’re all keeping up! )

Expat life is treating us all well. Autumn is well underway and secretly I’m looking forward to a bit of cooler weather! Ungrateful rat I know! I will be begging summer to make a swift return in a few weeks’ time I’m sure. When Tim and I visited Melbourne in March last year, it was so cold I had earache and had to wrap a scarf around my head whilst sitting on the top deck of the tourist bus! I was looking super special as always! I cannot believe that’s what we have in store soon.

This summer was glorious. Sweaty, but glorious. Walks on the beach in the evenings, swimming in the ocean, bike rides, trips to the park, movies, paddle boarding, camping…. Days out smothered in factor 50 with large brimmed hats on, praying that the children weren’t going to expire, get sun stroke or die of heat exhaustion. I have looked rather like a sweaty lobster for three months but hey, that’s the Brit in me; and there’s no hiding it. If one more Aussie asks me if I’m sunburnt I may explode! I’m naturally pink!! Very pink!! I’ve always thought it was particularly unfair that my brother got this sort of Latino olive skin, (the main reason I was known as “Huw’s sister” at school and never just Olivia), and I ended up like Miss Piggy with more freckles than my school mates had time to join together in Math’s class! Ah it was always a lot of fun being the human dot to dot puzzle in the classroom.

All in all, a great summer in Melbourne and a big poked out tongue to all the Sydney Siders who cringed at us for moving further south. This summer has also given me the chance to make some friends to drink lots of wine with; I know; it surprises me every time too. When will I get used to this friend making thing? The kids seem to be dab hands at connecting with people and making such good friendship groups so quickly; I guess that’s the beauty of being young, and of course having an awesome mum showing them the ropes!

Last weekend we took the kids to the netball at Hisense Arena which was brill. It’s an incredible venue; we watched some of the Australian Open tennis there in January, and have now seen the netball there too which seems really bizarre only ever having seen it on the TV. Luckily Poppy’s favourite player Caitlin Thwaites has just joined a Melbourne team so she was beside herself. If Caitlin didn’t hear her screams I am truly shocked!! Poppy who is a netball super fan, turned to Tim to say “I love this dad; it really inspires me!” Wow! Taken a back to say the least! She is growing up so fast, I just can’t keep up. Who pressed the fast forward button on my life? Why is 40 careering toward me at break neck speed? Should my crow’s feet be this deep? Why have my hands morphed into my mother’s?

Melbourne is the most wonderful city, it’s so easy to get around and such fun to explore; that is when Monty isn’t kicking pigeons so hard their feathers pop out or having an utter meltdown because we won’t buy him another packet of Mentos. I’m sure he has an addiction to them. (note to self: read ingredients and explore possible addiction) The restaurants, the parks, the events, the museums, they’re all on our doorstep and we are absolutely loving it.

We’ve explored Birrarung Marr Park, Blairgowrie beach, Bunkers Indoor Skate Park and Chelsea’s Bicentennial Park. We’ve gorged on burgers at Huxtaburger, ice creams at MilkCow Au and frozen yoghurt at Yo My Goodness. We’ve watched netball, cricket, and soccer too! No wonder this Wilson is exhausted!! And there’s even more to come!

How on earth am I going to cope when the school holidays arrive in three week’s time?

Now where’s that bottle of Four Pillars?

Olivia xx

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful – Mae West

 

 

Brickman: Wonders of The World, is coming to Melbourne!

When I heard that the Melbourne Museum was set to host the biggest ever exhibition made entirely out of LEGO® bricks, I legged it to the play room, stumbling over my own beautiful LEGO® creations to tell the kids. Monty said “wow, they must have as much LEGO® as we do!” Ten minutes later after much “Googling” we read that the legend, Ryan McNaught used almost 4 shipping containers full of bricks to create this ‘Wonders of The World’ exhibition. Monty was right! Incredibly, it took Ryan and his team 4,944 hours to finish building the masterpieces (I’m sure some of the parents out there can feel that pain!)

Mum’s and Dad’s, you’re going to have to brace yourselves as your little LEGO® fanatics are taken aback by what they see. This is like nothing they (or you) have ever seen before, (not even your rather good car with only three wheels you built last weekend compares). So, don’t be disheartened if The Brickman completely knocks their socks off, blows them away, and just reinforces your lack of LEGO® prowess.

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Ryan with the mind blowing LEGO® Golden Gate Bridge

‘Wonders of the World’ is a brand new interactive LEGO® exhibition, exploring some of the world’s most magnificent masterpieces. The creator Ryan McNaught, is the only LEGO® Certified Professional in the Southern Hemisphere, and one of only 14 in the world.  Ryan’s job is to make LEGO® models for toy shops and department stores all over the Asia Pacific region! I’m pretty sure that’s Monty’s life goal sorted!

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On display there will be 50 breath taking and completely original masterpieces, including a whopping Arc de Triomphe, King Kong on the Empire State Building, Big Ben, a Leaning Tower of Pisa and Michelangelo’s Statue of David too! Each model will include a plaque with snippets about the real life wonder as well as behind-the-scenes tales about how the team managed to build them!

This exhibition will ensure the children come away having learnt some awesome facts about our World Wonders, and have an enormous desire to recreate them (uh oh!).  They’ll get some hands on time too, and get chance to have a go at building a statue of themselves. Can you imagine?? Ryan has assured us there is lots to learn, lots to get our hands on, and he’s hoping all Melburnians are up for a bit of a challenge! I know my team are!

This brick-tastic exhibition is the largest ever LEGO® exhibition to be seen in Melbourne and the most awesome news is that it will open just in time for the Easter school holidays! Yay for Melbourne!

So grab your little LEGO® fans and hot foot it to the Melbourne Museum as this astonishing exhibition promises to capture everyone’s imagination! You really don’t want to miss out!  In fact, stuff the kids, I’m racing you all to be one of the first visitors to see Brickman ‘Wonders of the World’ at Melbourne Museum.

Venue: Melbourne Museum

Dates: 1 April – 7 May 2017 (Open daily)

 Book tickets here

Website

 

Watch this video of the exhibition in the making:

 BRICKMAN ‘WONDERS OF THE WORLD’ EXHIBITION

 

 

“Nothing like this exhibition has ever been seen before, every model is brand new and way more detailed than anything I’ve ever created-  Ryan McNaught.

 

Mr Snot Bottom’s Seriously Stinky Songs! Have you booked yet?

 

As you all know by now, anything that may involve bogies, backsides or snot is right up my darling Monty’s street! So when The Wilson’s discovered Mr Snot Bottom was coming to Melbourne it was as if all my prayers had been answered. A show that I could take my children to and be 100% sure they would be engaged, entertained, and we could all enjoy an afternoon of yuk!

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Mr Snot Bottom takes pride in the fact that he is an expert in all things gross. Boogers, bottoms, pop-off and smells are the topics covered in this mind blowing “mucus-filled musical”. I know, it sounds gross right! Perfect!! The children literally can’t waaaait! So, I bet you’re now intrigued as to what you can expect in this unique, and somewhat ewwwww show!

Mr Snot Bottom absolutely guarantees brand-new tasteless tunes, horrible harmonies and repulsive rhythms; plus plenty of gross gags and wrong routines in this symphony of stupid! (Oh Lord, this could have been written for my son, about my son!) …

The songs featured have been co-written with Benny Davis of Axis of Awesome, Tom Bettany of The Beards and many more awesome artists.

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Mr Snot Bottom has had sold out shows and rave reviews at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, Sydney Comedy Festival and Edinburgh Fringe, proving he is a children’s comedy icon who appeals to all ages.

Book your tickets now, and allow your family to be transported into a bonkers, wonderful world where they can all laugh together about the grossest of gross!!

Let’s hope that this doesn’t mean I have to spend more time wiping bogies off the bedroom walls!! Wish me luck!

Tour dates for Melbourne: April 8 – 15 – 1pm- Melbourne Town Hall, VIC

Time: 1pm
Duration: 50 Minutes
Price: $15 – $65
Suitable for audiences of all ages

Venue: Melb Town Hall – Lower Town Hall, Cnr Swanston & Collins Sts

comedy-fest

 Book tickets here!

Watch a video of Mr Snot Bottom

Mr Snot Bottom’s on Facebook!!

 

 

Check out our Instagram feed for the chance to win 1 of 2 Family tickets to the show!!


Nominee Best Children’s Event Fringe World 2017

‘Kiddy stand up at its best ★★★★Adelaide Advertiser

‘Had the kids in stitches… Parents won’t feel left out.’ Herald Sun

‘He’ll have your little ones in a laughing frenzy. 

Hilarious and clever kids show. ★★★★Rip It Up

The Wilsons do Sovereign Hill

 

This weekend started so well.  Mr W left work early after much harassment from me and the children. We wanted him to come to the “new family BBQ” at school on Friday afternoon, so we weren’t on our own for yet another school event. Usually the children and I stand there, looking on as the dads take over the playground, and the mums gush at how “hands on” their husbands are. Tim has to work what he calls, ‘pretty normal hours’, and what I call “single mother hours”. Not here for breakfast, and rarely here for dinner. Oh, but he pays for it with evening teeth brushing duty, which has to be the most painful ten minutes of any parent’s day!

On Friday I twisted his arm viciously enough that he left work a couple of hours early. In typical Tim style he turned up just as the bbq was being packed away, so he missed out on the snags, and ended up having to join me in a fifteen-minute hunt for Monty who was found hiding up a tree. Barefoot, grubby, and giving me even more grey hairs, Monty thought this was hysterical. I have no idea what it is, but he gets so much joy from “freaking” people out.

We decided this weekend we would adventure off to Ballarat to visit Sovereign Hill. I showed the children the videos on the website and they were really excited to get there. Monty kept telling people we were off to get some gold; I think he thought we were going to be coming home with a huge nugget. Oh god, please let us come home with a nugget!

Sovereign Hill is just under 2 hours from us, so we did the usual pep talk as we strapped in the kids, praying that they would survive the journey without being smacked on the knee by my arm bent around my back of my seat. As per usual they didn’t want any of the snacks I had lovingly thrown into a carrier bag, so Tim stopped to put air in the tyres and bought them an enormous bag of mints. *sigh I gave him ‘the look.’ Sugar is never a good decision.

Eye spy was well under way 10 minutes after leaving the house. Poppy started with “eye spy with my little eye, something beginning with F” …. Monty shrieked “POPPPPPPPYYYY!  You can’t say an F word it’s rude… Muuuuum!! Poppy said it’s the F word!” The next forty-five minutes consisted of every other clue beginning with F, Poppy grinning, and Monty shrieking with horror.  “It’s Forest… Ffffforest….” Thank you Poppy…

The journey seemed to take forever, surprise, surprise.  I’m pretty sure this was down to the eye spy hell I was trapped in, and my secret consumption of beer at the school bbq the night before. I must remember in future a banana just doesn’t cut it as decent hangover food.

We arrived at Sovereign Hill about 11, opened the car doors and promptly slammed them shut again. It was bloody freezing. Monty was in shorts and neither of the kids had a coat. Spot the Sydney Siders.  I longed for a woolly scarf. We dressed ourselves in the random articles of clothing that had been abandoned in the car from previous days out. Monty found a pair of dirty socks with popcorn crumbs stuck to them; which he put over the ones he already had on to keep his feet extra warm. He had a hoodie that was two sizes too big with strange looking stains on, and Poppy was wearing her netball uniform jacket, on top of her particularly summery outfit. Tim and I had remembered to pack our own warm coats of course, but I still felt the icy wind rushing straight through my body and was tempted to wear Poppy’s netball knickers as a hat. I encouraged the children to star jump their way into the ticket office to save them from hypothermia. This resulted in two shuddering oddballs, wearing the most remarkable outfits falling through the sliding doors into an enormous crowd of Japanese tourists. Once they had managed to stand up, and escape the grasps of some elderly lady grabbing at their cheeks and frantically snapping photos of them, we made it to the counter.

Tickets purchased, we walked into 1850’s Ballarat. Honestly this place is awesome. An enormous outdoor museum presenting the history of Australia’s gold rush. There were people panning for gold in the stream; desperately trying to find specs of gold, surrounded by tents and little wooden shacks that made up the Chinese camp. It was like we had stepped back in time. There were people in costume, playing very convincing characters. We walked up through the high street; the shops full of beautiful handmade trinkets, delicious freshly baked pies and cakes, handmade lollies, candles, lace, beautiful dresses. There was music being played by four men outside the post office which completed the scene and totally transported you back to the gold rush days. It was a magical walk through a bustling mining town, even with Monty hopping and tripping over every little stone, and Poppy walking forwards and looking backwards. Some of the buildings at Sovereign Hill are the original ones, others had been loving restored from pictures left behind. It really is a spectacular place.

Poppy looked at me and said “Mummy this is amazing, I love this kind of thing” as we headed into the theatre. We watched the actors play their characters with enthusiasm as they took us back in time, and showed us just what was thought of the Chinese coming to find gold in Ballarat. It was a real insight into life during the gold rush. The children’s eyes fixed like glue.

The children were desperate to go on a horse and cart ride, they hopped on the front with the driver. She was completely in charge for the four huge beasts pulling our carriage through the dusty streets, past the shops. Monty spent most of the journey talking about and pointing out horse poo, and exaggerating how dreadful the smell was. I’m pretty sure that poor horse is still feeling embarrassed.  Once we had hopped off, and patted the horses, Monty had got over the smell, so we headed to the candle shop where the children could colour their own candle. We watched gold being poured, lollies being made, Red Coat soldiers marching, saw muskets being shot, peeked into the houses of the miners, got excited about the bed pans outdoor ‘Dunny’s’, and even had a go at bowling. The best part of the day for me, had to be the trip down into the mine.

I have been in a mine before in Wales, and I am pretty sure it was a trick. You get in a lift, the lights go out, it shudders a bit and yay, you’re deep underground in the mine (or not). So, getting on the little train to take us underground in Ballarat, I was pretty calm, thinking it would be the same trick. There was no reason to feel at all claustrophobic or concerned about the lack of air, and not need to worry that I didn’t have a canary with me! Poppy was already crying! The lights go out, it’s pitch black and the little train gets moving. I could feel Poppy’s nails digging into my skin, as the guide made a joke about hoping all 32 of us come back out at the end.  Monty is screeching that this is “Awwwwesome”, and 60 seconds later we’ve arrived. I was winking at Tim; he was looking at me as if I was mental. “You know we are underground don’t you?”

Oh good god, I looked back up the train track and he was right, we were underground. Actually in a mine…. Are those strategically placed bits of wood really able to stop the roof from caving in on us all? How much air have we got left? What if the power cuts out? Now do you see where my daughter gets it from?

Peter Kennedy was our guide underground. He wore a huge hat, was the most wonderful, enthusiastic man, who straight away made this tour feel exciting. He is what I imagined every Aussie to be like before we arrived Down Under. A mix between Crocodile Dundee and Indiana Jones. We all listened intently as he explained about how the mines worked, and how much effort went into finding gold.  It was truly one of the best tours we have been on, even though Poppy was heavy breathing, in between laughing at Peter’s jokes and weeping a little. The train ride inside the mine really showed us what little space the miners had, we saw the nooks and crannies, the holes where they had their tea breaks, and the pick axes they used. To be able to go underground and see exactly where these people spent hours and hours of their lives digging away in the dark is a real eye-opener. The train tracks they used to get the rock to the surface are still visible, and you can almost hear the miners at work if you listen hard enough.

We had the most wonderful day, we took hundreds of photos, played games, panned for gold, the children spent time at the school house learning to use proper pens and ink. The staff were amazing; they knew all the answers to our questions, and seemed to be so thrilled to answer them.

We ended up exiting through the entrance in typical Wilson fashion. I looked up and saw some writing on the wall which I had missed on the way in. It really touched a nerve. It made me think of what a journey it has been for us moving to Australia, to leave everyone we love behind, and really, we are a tiny dot in the huge numbers of people that have done this before us, and with none of the luxuries we have today.

“It was a ‘bright vision’ of prosperity that lured them – an exodus of gold seekers from the farthest reaches of the world. In the earliest years of the 1850’s, half a million men, women and children turned their backs on everything they knew and set sail to find it. Their destination was Australia – half a world away across a vast and perilous sea. “

Family days out always seem to have some sort of drama for us. The kids get bored, we end up telling them how spoilt they are…. You know what it’s like. You spend all that money for a day out, and you end up going home feeling exhausted and a little ripped off with the ungrateful brats in the back of the car with fist fulls of treats. Well, this weekend, we had the brats in the back, but in no way did we feel ripped off. Sovereign Hill is a fabulous, educational and fun day out for the whole family. If only we could have taken advantage of the second day pass.

Here’s to more fun and adventures….

To hit or to be hit? A parenting nightmare!

 

I love a kid with spirit, a kid with guts, one who isn’t afraid to step up and be counted, not afraid to stand up for what’s right. The reason I love spunky kids is, I have a child just like this. My son is gutsy, knows what’s right and wrong, but very often pushes me a little too far with his strength of character. He is loud, brave, a little punchy, energetic beyond belief, and will always, without fail, step in if he thinks someone is being wronged. He can often be seen pushing his big sister out of the way, so as he can confront the big kid who’s being mean to her. He always runs to the aid of his friends. He has been delivered, straight from my side of the family, in every way possible. This is all good and well but sometimes, his protective nature gets the better of him and he takes it too far. Honestly, he has been known to make much bigger kids cry and run to their mums when he has been standing up for someone. He is small but fiery, strong but gentle, tough but loving, the guy you just have to be friends with, because he will always have your back, no matter what. He is loyal, very loyal, almost too loyal, and this unfortunately has landed him in trouble in many a play park.kissing-kids

Every parent has been in that nightmare situation at least once, where you turn up to school or day care and you’re told that today your child has hit someone, or bitten someone or pushed someone over. Your heart sinks. You’re shocked that your little darling would ever do such a thing; even though you know as well as everyone else, they’re all capable of a little nibble, slap or shove. I remember picking up Monty when he was only 2 and being told he had pinched someone.  I couldn’t make out whether my heart was breaking because I was upset that my child would hurt someone else on purpose, or whether I was sad for the other mother who was now being told her precious child was going home with an injury. Thankfully, I have not been on either side too often, and now that both my children are getting older these sorts of things happen less and less. However, last Friday proved to me that although rare, hitting can occur at any age.

My sweet daughter, who is quite the opposite of Monty in feistiness, came home from school last week with a bruise the size and shape of a ten-year-old boys fist. Shocked, flabbergasted, upset, concerned, angry; no livid, enraged, outraged, beside myself, sweaty, dizzy, pacing up and down the kitchen…. How could anyone do this? These kids should know better at this age. I spent the whole of Friday night, drinking wine, getting more and more cross. Saturday morning arrived, I was regretting the wine, and also regretting how horribly I had handled my emotions.

Thinking about a boy hitting a girl was pretty shocking to me, as sexist as that sounds, especially in Australia; a country so hell bent on cutting out domestic violence and a country that insists on teaching children about the seriousness of violence after so many “one punch” deaths… From my quaint English countryside point of view it can be a little too much detail for young children, however, domestic violence campaigners are currently calling for young Australians to be better educated about the dangers of violent relationships, though the new national curriculum. This only goes to prove how seriously they take it here. In 2015 New South Wales became the first state to introduce school lessons specifically on domestic violence.

In no way am I accusing Australia of being any worse than anywhere else in the world, but it is definitely a huge issue here and a fairly big talking point.

So, Poppy comes home injured, upset, frightened, and I somehow feel the same. How could this happen? Why was she not safe at school? Who was watching them? Why didn’t this get stopped before it escalated? Why would a boy attack a girl? I had so many questions, and just like Monty, I was ready to explode, I was like a lioness protecting her cubs.fist

Then, I got to thinking about how I would have felt if this was the other way around? What if Monty had hurt someone at school? How would I feel if I’d had a phone call to say he had punched someone so hard they had to go and have an x-ray? Honestly…. I think that feeling would far outweigh my frenzied lioness feelings. To learn that your child has shown such aggression toward another student has to be heartbreaking to say the least.

When we send our children out into the big wide world, we hope that we have taught them enough to cope in certain situations, how to stand up for themselves in the right way, how to use their manners ALL OF THE TIME! What we don’t really consider as parents is, sometimes they will forget these rules, accidentally let loose and lash out, forget to wash their hands or say please may I. This in no way is a reflection on the school or the teachers, nor is it a reflection on how we have parented our children. Sometimes kids just get it wrong, very wrong. I know I have done my best to teach my children the difference between right and wrong, yet still they lash out at each other, answer me back, shout, and throw tantrums. I couldn’t tell you I’m 100% sure my son would never lash out and hit a girl. Just in the way you couldn’t either.  I am in no way condoning violent behaviour, but I am willing to stand up for all those mothers who have done nothing but try their best, and are still made to feel like they haven’t done enough by the way their children mistakenly react to situations. The mothers who have tried and tried to teach their children to stand up for themselves in a pretty frightening world, but not so much so that they end up being the bad kid. How on earth can we be expected to get that balance right? We don’t want to see them hit, just as much as we don’t want them to be the hitter.

Primary school is where we send them to hone the life skills that we have implemented. We send them to be taught in a structured environment that they have never really experienced before. We send them there, into a room, with many different personalities, lots of little voices, all competing for one teacher’s attention. And yes, by the age of 10 they should have mastered lots of life skills, but still, 10 is so young, and a 10 year old still has so much more time to learn, and grow, and be taught.

So whether your child is the hitter, or has been hit is irrelevant. What’s most important is that they have learnt a valuable lesson. We must remember that school is there to help us teach them that life isn’t perfect and that people aren’t perfect. It’s there to teach them that some people forget themselves in situations, there are consequences for that, and that’s how they learn. As long as we all support our children, teach them how they should behave, and what is expected of them, then fingers crossed we can send them off into the even wider world of adulthood, where they will succeed as well rounded individuals. Let’s not make everything so black and white, let’s not blame each other, let’s just show our children that we can look at things from many different angles, and maybe just maybe, this will help them grow up to be even more compassionate, more understanding and more respectful adults.

Olivia xx

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar, is as valuable to the child as it is the caterpillar – Bradley Millar

 

 

‘Spare a Thought’ – Expat life through the eyes of those left behind #1

 

One of the most asked questions we get here at The Wilsons of Oz HQ is, how did we feel leaving our friends and family behind, when we made the big trip to the lucky country. Well, the answer is always “pretty terrible”. Of course you’re going to miss people when you move away, and I often think about the people we left behind.  I am pretty sure this is the one thing (apart from the evil visa process) that stops most people taking the huge step toward a life overseas. It goes without saying, it’s tough, but at the same time, I know deep down in my thumping, aching heart, it was too good an opportunity to miss out on. I’ve come round to thinking that maybe it is harder for the people you leave behind, the ones who still walk past your old house every week, the ones who you had regular coffees with, the ones who have reminders of you in their everyday life. Surely it’s got to be harder for them.

Well, all this has encouraged me to get on to those people left behind, and have them guest blog for me in a series called “Spare a thought”. One person in particular, who jumped at the chance to make me feel guilty, was my mother. My dear, rather ‘emotional at the best of times’ mother. I asked mum to write about how she felt, and still feels about our move Down Under.


 

Your wings already exist; all you have to do is fly!

When my husband retired from the Army we decided to sell our house in Lincolnshire and like two homing pigeons we returned to Wales. It all made perfect sense, we were both from the area and after 25 moves and friends scattered all over the world it was time to be with family and renew friendships long neglected. What happened next was totally unexpected. My elderly father-in-law decided he would move to Hong Kong to be with his daughter, and our son went to take on a new job in Malta. Thankfully our daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren were settled in Somerset, and not too far away for frequent visits.

During one such visit the bombshell was dropped; “Tim has a new job, but it means moving” Olivia announced one Sunday.  I replied “you won’t find that a problem, you are used to moving, it will be an adventure”. Her reply hit me like a thunderbolt, “yes, but we’re moving to Sydney”. That’s when I burst into tears whilst asking the ridiculous question “Sydney Australia?” I suddenly recalled a time many years ago when my husband told me we had been posted and I suggested he could commute from Lincolnshire so as not to disrupt the family.  He’d said Abu Dhabi in fact, not welsh Aberdovey. Not such an easy commute from Lincolnshire after all.

Once Olivia’s news had sunk in, I started blaming myself for how I was feeling. Was it our fault that both children have the urge to travel and live abroad? Or perhaps it’s a wonderful legacy we bless them with. Our lovely daughter has transverse myelitis, a debilitating illness which she has struggled with and has now come to terms with in a way that makes us feel so very proud. I couldn’t help but feel worried how she would cope being so far away from home; and selfishly I thought, how would we cope?

My first mistake after the bombshell had been dropped was to start watching “Wanted down under” on British television. It shows couples who have taken the plunge, sitting on a sofa in Oz talking to loved ones back home via video link up. Usually the whole family get together in the UK and spend most of the time crying, not knowing what to say, and being typical Poms, just repeatedly ask about the time and the weather. All this does for me is emphasise how far away Australia is. Our morning is their evening, our winter is their summer, and this only exaggerates the constant reminder of the magnitude of their decision. However, finally with the help of my husband, I started to think positively. Our daughter has a wonderful, supportive husband and two great children who are going to make friends, travel, and enjoy all that Australia has to offer; and it has a lot to offer. They will enjoy the outdoor life, the sports, and of course the food. My later predictions have proved to be right. They have immersed themselves in everything that has been palced at their feet.

We have already enjoyed a wonderful holiday in Sydney, and now that they have moved to Melbourne we hope to go there. Thank goodness for Skype! It has made such a difference to be able to see them all and to see their home. The one disadvantage is that I am sure they think Granny lives in a dressing gown as they always call early morning our time; but rest assured I have, unlike those on the television programme, not been too emotional on screen.

I meet people here who are upset because their offspring have moved 10 miles away, but I also meet people whose children are unhappy and can’t find work, so we regularly count our blessings.

Our son, daughter in law and granddaughter have announced they are now moving to Las Vegas; did we do something to upset them all? Maybe I won’t dwell on that. I will concentrate on arranging a few more holidays instead. Thank you Australia for taking care of our loved ones! (Now I am shedding a tear, but don’t tell them!)

Susan Thomas

family-selfie

 

Family; like branches on a tree we may all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.


 

If you think you would like to write about your experience of being ‘left behind’, or let us know about how you’re planning to stay connected with family and friends when you move away, please get in touch. Are you about to turn down the opportunity to move away because of a loved one? Did you follow your loved ones abroad to be close to them?  Just one email to us, and you could be sharing your story with thousands of followers all over the world and helping others make that life changing decision.

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Embrace the playground!

 

I have done it! I have survived the first week of a new school. Who cares about the kids? Those first few days as the ‘new mum’ have to be harder than anything the kids go through.

 

All summer I have been catching my breath, imagining going through the gates for the first time. All the other mums who have known each other since ‘mums and bubs’ in their little huddles, cooing over each others newest arrivals, turning to look at me, wondering who I am, where I’ve escaped from, why I have really greasy hair and vegemite all over my t-shirt. It’s never a pleasant time of the day for us, I am usually wiping snot and tears from Poppy’s face as she sobs her way into school with Monty following behind shouting something offensive to her. Throughout the holidays I had moments where I could almost feel the eyes on me, even though I was at home and still had weeks until the dreaded day arrived.

 

I received , read and re-read all the introduction letters, the ‘preparing your child for school’ information, but had nothing to help prepare me!  Not one checklist on how to prepare myself for the playground onslaught. Nothing to advise me on where to stand or how best to behave on that first day, or teach me the “best one liners for playground mums”. No one waiting by the gate to take a photo of me on my first day! How on earth are we expected to do everything we do, turn up to school and be prepared for this every morning? Entering the playground for the first time as a mum is worse than any job interview. It’s worse than giving birth, it’s worse than that dodgy tummy you get after a curry… My god it’s worse than stubbing your big toe. There are a million things I would rather do than be the new mum. Yet everyone focusses on the children, and how they’re coping in the run up to school. Well, this selfish mum was more worried about her eyebrows being plucked to within an inch of their life, and making sure she didn’t wear those trousers that give her a serious camel toe (please don’t google that mum!).

 

I have done the playground thing for a few years; I have been the new mum a few times now, and trust me it doesn’t get any easier. No matter where you are in the world, the playground is always the same. The cool mums, the sexy mums, the bloody all round perfect mums. The baking mums, the super tanned mums, the working mums, the stylish mums, the immaculate mums, the loving mums, the classy mums, the sassy mums, the funky mums, the arty mums, the ‘totally in love mums’ who are always there with dad! …… Then me! Standing out like a sore thumb, as I am nothing in particular, just a little nervous, very clammy and usually stood on my own hoping that my children come out of school without an escort from the principle!

 

On Friday’s here a coffee van turns up to school and the parents get some time to meet the teachers, chat, make new friends etc. Yay! Even more playground time!!  I decided, as it’s the first week I should be brave, take some deep breaths and use this opportunity to meet some more people; so we left the house early, free coffee voucher clasped in my hand and headed into the school playground. To be honest with you, I dread things like this. Will anyone talk to me? Will I recognise anyone from the kid’s classes? Will I just be sat on my own wishing it was a G&T in my hand instead of a long black?  In typical Wilson fashion, I turned up, drank my coffee, and didn’t really manage to chat with anyone  properly as Monty was on at me to play cricket, and Poppy was emotional! I told the one mum I managed to chat to that I was planning on going to the P & C meeting after coffee; she looked at me as if I had said I was thinking about joining ISIS! I decided then that I would leave the parent volunteering to someone else and I went straight home. Maybe it’s for the best!

 

Well go me!!!  The first week of school is done, I have survived the beginning of the school year, and I will now, (fingers crossed) not be the newest mum again for a long while. (By no means does that imply that I am having any more children, I just mean, I don’t think we’ll be relocating any time soon.)

 

The ‘new mum’ playground thing is getting a little easier. The children have friends; I have friends (I know… Yay me! Again!) and I am absolutely loving being home alone all day! I try my hardest to look a little forlorn when I drop the children off, giving them a few blinks as if I’m a tad emotional. “Mummy’s going to miss you today”, and “Aaah I can’t wait to see you this avo my little champ” and then boom; as soon as I’m out of sight I skip out of the school gates, and burst into Cream’s “I feel free” as I fly past the school crossing supervisor, racing home to dive into Hello! magazine and smother Nutella all over my face!  Oh it’s absolute bliss.

 

I would love to tell you that I miss them like crazy, or the house feels empty without them, or it’s made me feel super homesick, but I’d be lying. I don’t feel any of those things. I just feel pure, unadulterated joy! I have been filling my time with writing, tidying, cleaning, sitting on my backside, drinking copious amounts of coffee, online shopping (don’t tell Mr W), walking on the beach, laundry, and by then it’s 3:20! My mood drops a little, Cream stop singing in my ear about freedom, I grab my bag, a spray of rescue remedy, and I head miserably past the school crossing supervisor, dragging my feet, into the playground for round two. Here’s to the next 12 years of playground encounters! Wish me luck!!

 

Keep calm and just say “no”

I freely admit, I am one of those awful mothers who finds it almost impossible to say no to my children. Yes, one of those mothers that all other mothers snarl at. I just really struggle. I try my best to put my foot down, and then crumble under the mass of whiny voices and fluttery eyelashes… Partly because I drown in guilt, partly because I am just too bloody exhausted to argue! I know, I know, I can hear my mother saying “you’re making a rod for your own back!!” And damn it she’s right! The summer holidays have just about broken me, yet I am already missing the little darlings, two hours into term 1!

we've got this.png
You’ve got this!

 

I just dropped Poppy off for her first day at another new school, and Monty for his first day of school ever! Such a huge day for us all! It kind of makes everything else seem insignificant right now! I’ve almost forgotten that they had gummy sweets for breakfast to make the upcoming trauma taste a little sweeter! How am I supposed to tell you all about what we have been up to when my heart is thumping, my eyes seem to be full of this awful salty water, and my mind is still in school where I left Monty doing puzzles and Poppy crying!

Here goes!!!

Australia day seems like an age ago. This time last year we were surrounded by friends in Sydney, we had friends from the UK here to party with us too! This year, having just moved, we were a little light on the friends to hang with, so it fell to yet another ‘family day out’. We have learnt over the years that taking the children out for the day is far easier than staying in with them; surprisingly they behave like little angels when we’re doing the things they want to do. Go figure! So, instead of kicking back on a sun lounger in the garden, sipping beers, waving flags, and covered in Australia day tattoos, we packed a bag, threw in some old bananas and off we went.

We drove out to the edge of the Mornington Peninsula to The Enchanted Adventure Gardens. The drive there was spectacular! The route took us to the top of Arthurs Seat State Park, the ocean views were magnificent; a scene we just hadn’t banked on, having not looked at the route we were taking. Thanks Sat Nav! It was such a treat to see this unexpected view! We spent the day playing games, walking the canopy walkways (because you’re not allowed to run! Tell that to the bloody tourists!) We did the ‘Bush Adventure Scramble’ which was a fab obstacle course for the kids nestled in amongst the giant trees of the Arthurs Seat Forest. I spent most of the time doubled up, laughing hysterically as the children got stuck on various rope nets, tangled up in the stretchy strings or plopped off the wobble board into the mud! I really am going to hell. Screams of “heeeeelp Muuuum” were met with silent laugher as I crossed my legs, terrified I may have my own little accident. There really is no end to the fun to be had at the Enchanted Gardens! We made our way down the ‘sculpture walk’ past the beautifully carved life like figures, to the Tube Slides and settled there for what seemed like hours. The rings are huge inflatable tyres, which need to be dragged up the hill before you can slide all the way back down again, whilst being sprayed with water! The children insisted I had a go;  the delightful chap at the top pushed me full pelt off the ledge! It was then, as I was careering backwards downhill I decided that this wasn’t really my thing! I like to be able to see where I’m going especially at speeds of about 40kms an hour. Not only that but when I’m sent hurtling backwards downhill, being hosed with a fine spray, my hair takes a turn for the worse. I arrived at the bottom to gasps from small children, clutching onto their parents as Chewbacca’s wife prized herself out of a tiny tyre. Not a pretty sight I can assure you!

Once I regained the use of my legs, and the children had become tired of dragging their tyres up the hill, we headed for the 10ft tall conifers that make up the main Maze! Oh yes there’s more than 1! Tim took the children in. I waited at the entrance, a hairy mess in amongst the most beautiful flowers; partly because I am terribly claustrophobic, and partly to steal a little “me time”, still getting over the tyres. I was hoping they would get lost for a few hours, but no sooner had I patted my mane down, and got my phone out of my pocket to check Facebook, they were back by my side begging to go to the Lolly Shop! I punched the air, and whimpered a little “Yay!!” We filled them full of sugar, then hopped back into the car to head to our next destination!

Having seen such beautiful photos of Sorrento, Tim and I decided we would go and have a look seeing as we were already pretty close.  Sorrento is a beautiful seaside resort that describes itself as “a largely upper class area”, so right up our street! The beach is truly beautiful, however today being a public holiday, you could have mistaken it for Alicante in July! The children were sweaty, grubby, I had bird poo on my t shirt, and Tim had hat hair! We didn’t stay too long with the cool cats of Sorrento! We sat at the Continental Hotel (also known as the Conti! Of course) and glugged our beers whilst the kids sipped lemonade. (I know, more sugar! Shoot me now!) We had a picnic, ate ice-creams, even had hot chips on the beach. Worn out, sandy, sweaty and full of E numbers and processed sugar, we got back in the car to start our short journey home. Five minutes on the road, and Tim and I spot an enormous funfair. Please God I pray the Barbie movie keeps their eyes fixed on the screen, and the traffic lights stay green…… Dash it! A red light and a yelp from the back “wow, awesome, can we go, can we go??” You’ll be proud to hear that I stuck to my guns on this occasion, and refused to stop at the fair. There are a few things in this world that I will always, every time say no to. Funfairs being the main one. I hate them, I loathe them, in fact I detest them. I dislike everything about them. I don’t like the rides; they look like they’re going to collapse and hurl 50 screaming children in to the stratosphere. I can’t stand the lollies, the crap prizes and the grubby people. I detest funfairs because no matter how much of a good time the kids have, I always, without fail, leave feeling utterly ripped off and the children are inevitably sick on the way home. The vomiting being totally my fault for allowing them to eat the burgers made from dog meat, and the candy floss made by the lady with E-coli all over her being.

I tried to reason with the children about why we weren’t going to the fair; I started well. Not only had we been out all day, it was getting late, and we were all tired. “I’m not tired, are you tired Poppy”, “ok… well we’ve run out of coins and funfairs are really expensive”, “we haven’t spent our pocket money yet mum, look we have 20 dollars” …. “Oh for Christ sake, we’re not going to the bloody fair because they’re shit, and the gaggle of teenage girls drinking vodka by the bumper cars look like they’re ready to ruin everyone’s evening. Let’s just stop at the nearest sodding bin and chuck your money in if you’re happy to throw it away” Stunned silence… Then a little whisper behind me… “did Mummy say a swear word?’

My children are utterly spoilt, again this is purely my fault. I completely spoil them because since moving away from home I have felt a torrent of guilt. Guilt for moving them so far from their grandparents, guilt for allowing them to get sunburnt last summer, guilt for making them move all the time, guilt for changing their schools so frequently, guilt for not allowing them to drink cordial every day, guilt for forcing them to do Nippers even when its freezing cold, guilt for only reading two bedtime stories, guilt for not being as strict on letter writing as I should be; honestly guilt runs deep in this mumma!

This is the reason I over compensate and give in to them all the time. This is why I find it almost impossible to say no! Tim thinks I am ridiculous. He is well aware of how I treat them, and as we were sitting at the traffic lights, next to the god awful un..fun..fair, I could see his hand hovering over the indicator, ready to pull in, knowing I was about to collapse under the pressure of pester power! Then thankfully the lights turned green, Tim put his foot down and we sped off. I put my hand on his leg, looked lovingly at him, so proud of what awesome parents we are, and how bloody brilliant we are for showing the kids that no means no!!

So this Australia day, when we should have been reflecting on Australian history, learning about the arrival of the first fleet, and raising a glass to the wonder of this beautiful country, we were actually laughing at the children hurting themselves, teaching them that mummy thinks funfairs are “shit”, and showing them who’s boss… And it ‘aint daddy!!

Here’s hoping for a more relaxing Australia Day next year!

Olivia xx

‘One way to get the most out of life, is to look upon it as an adventure’ – William Feather