Review – Tanya Losanno – The Good, The Bad and The Elderly

From feeling like she grew up on the set of the Godfather, where the weapon of choice was guilt, to feeling like she is in a spaghetti western, where belligerence is the weapon of choice, The Good, The Bad and the Elderly is about a modern day cowboy trying to look after two old school ones.

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Tanya Losanno has returned to the stage at the Melbourne Comedy Festival with her heartwarming, and witty show about the reality and the chaos that ensues when you find yourself thrust from generation X, into the sandwich generation. (The sandwich generation are those of us caring for our children whilst also caring for our elderly parents.)  This is a show many will relate to, and if not yet, a show you need to see, to get a little insight into what’s ahead.

The show pays homage to Tanya’s parents, with heartwarming and funny stories, anecdotes about Aldi special buys and scammers, and a truth that gives the audience a real insight into the chaos of being everything to everyone!

There is no doubt that Tanya is a wonderful storyteller. She speaks passionately, from the heart, and the show is at times visibly poignant to her.  There were moments where I had a lump in my throat, truly moved by Tanya’s words, only to be pulled back by another well timed gag. She shares her incredibly personal journey, the ups and the downs, with wit and compassion, which is why Tanya truly captivated the audience from the get go!

“I have lots of stories to tell and my family inspires a lot of my comedy.”

Tanya has a talent, not afforded to many. She manages to fill your heart with tenderness, have you gushing with love and feelings of “shit, that’s my life,” then darts a one liner at you, which forces tears of laughter down your cheeks. Book your tickets as The Good The Bad and The Elderly is not to be missed. On now until the 21st April at The Coopers MaltHouse, Shell Room.

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Melbourne International Comedy Festival – Top 5 for the adults

Everyone loves a good night out, especially when it’s to enjoy some A class comedy sans kids, with a wine in hand! Melbourne is once again host to the worlds best comedians and I for one, will absolutely be making the most of the comedy festival this year! *My babysitter will be bathing in $50 notes by the end of April!
Here are my top picks for this years Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
Top 5 is pretty hard, and there are a stack of shows that are also on my (other) list , and absolutely should be on yours too….(including the insanely funny 50 Shades, The Musical Parody)
However, here are 5 shows that you mustn’t miss, in no particular order… Although, I do have a huge girl crush on all of the Fringe Wives so….

 

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Glittergrass incorporates storytelling, slapstick comedy, Dolly-dazzling outfits and a killer soundtrack played entirely LIVE by the wives themselves on banjo, accordion, uke, mandolin, washboard, lagerphone, musical saw, kazoos, the spoons (and anything else they can rustle up) with the support of a junk band rhythm section.

This timely and uncompromising feminist call-to-arms is created and performed by physical comedy queen Tessa Waters (Winner: Best Comedy Weekly Award, Adelaide Fringe 2017, Womanz/Over Promises/Fully Sik), musical comedy powerhouse Victoria Falconer (Winner: London Cabaret Award 2015, EastEnd Cabaret/Yeti’s Demon Dive Bar) and acclaimed comedian and storyteller Rowena Hutson (Winner: Most Outstanding Comedy Melbourne Fringe 2015, Strong Female Character) and this year will also feature Laura Frew (Double Denim / Director’s Choice Award MICF 2018) and Sharnema Nougar (Two Little Dickheads).

Date:  Thur 28th March – Sun 21st April (no show Mondays)

Time: Tues-Sat 9:45pm, Sunday 8:45pm

Venue:  Beckett Theatre, The Coopers Malthouse, 113 Sturt St

Tickets: $23- $32

Bookings: 03 9685 5111 or online at www.malthousetheatre.com.au and www.comedyfestival.com.au

Duration:  60 mins duration 


Marina Margarita presents Odette! Baby Daddy

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Fun, feisty and incredibly fertile Odetteis the larger-than-life cleaning lady everybody loves to love. Meet her in this award-nominated debut solo show, fresh from successful runs in Australia and the UK.
On a quest for the passionate romance that can only come from an immaculately coiffed superstar of daytime TV, Odette! dreams of shacking up with heart-throb Ridge Forrester from The Bold and The Beautiful.
After her shock elimination from the 2019 annual B&B super fan championship competition by a trick question in the first round, Odette! has broken into the final and pushed her way to the head of the queue, determined to be the first to catch Ridge’s eye.  With an arsenal of ideas to win him over, indomitable optimism and an ever expanding baby bump, her dreams seem within reach.  Until Brian, her jilted ex-lover, appears.
A hilarious new song-fuelled character comedy about dreaming big and falling hard, Odettewas nominated for the FRINGE WORLD Best Comedy Award 2018. 
Dates: 25 March – 4 April
Time: 10pm
Venue: The Butterfly Club, 5 Carson Place off Lt Collins Street
Tickets: $27-$34
Duration: 60 Minutes

Tanya Losanno The Good, The Bad and the Elderly

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2019 Moosehead Receipt Tanya Lossano returns to the stage with a show about the reality and the chaos that ensues when you find yourself thrust from generation X, slap bang into the sandwich generation.

Tanya Losanno is a first generation Australian to post World War 2 immigrant Italian parents and has recently moved back to where she grew up, with her family in tow and is now looking down the barrel of being a carer to her elderly parents.

From feeling like she grew up on the set of the Godfather, where the weapon of choice was guilt, to feeling like she is in a spaghetti western, where belligerence is the weapon of choice, The Good, The Bad and the Elderly is about a modern day cowboy trying to look after two old school ones.

Dates: 28th March – 21st April
Time: 6pm, 7pm
Venue: The Coopers Malt House, Shell Room, 113 Sturt St
Tickets: $20-$28
Duration: 60 Minutes

Two Little Dickheads Present 

What Would Bill Murray Do?

By David Tieck

Want to have more fun in your life? Start asking yourself- What Would Bill Murray Do?

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David Tieck is a big-fat absurdist, idiotic, stupid faced, teddy bear type person. In this new hour of silliness, Tieck is officially promising to show off at least 37 totally weird, reckless and flippantly foolish ideas, as well as possibly up to as many as profound ideas.

Taking a note from Bill Murray’s beautiful approach to life and comedy, this visceral show weaves together mischievous characters and sublime silliness with poems, songs and ridiculous joy.  Tieck and Murray have a lot in common; they both studied at The Second City Chicago, they both have brothers, they’re both survivors of horrific cystic acne and they both love to leave audiences with a new life philosophy on how to have the most fun ever.

Dates: 27th March – 8th April (no show Wed 3rd April)

Time: 18:30

Venue: Imperial Hotel, 2-8 Bourke St

Tickets: $18-$22

Duration: 50 mins

Bookings: comedyfestival.com.au

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GARRY STARR CONQUERS TROY

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Acting was invented by the ancient Greeks. Before that people were just pretending. With the release of his ground-breaking new book ‘An Actor Pretends’, disgraced actor Garry Starr enlightens us all with the ancient art of ‘not-for-realism’, thus (once again) saving the performing arts from inevitable extinction.

Following his multi-award-winning debut in 2018 (Garry Starr Performs Everything), comic wunderkind Damien Warren-Smith delivers another anarchic drama masterclass to remember.

Damien Warren-Smith grew up in the sleepy snowy mountain town of Cooma before studying at Actors Centre Australia. Upon graduating, he moved to London where he spent more than a decade working as an actor and deviser with companies such as Tall Stories, Hull Truck and Nottingham Playhouse. In 2013, he studied at Ecole Philippe Gaulier in Paris before creating internationally renowned clown collective A Plague of iDiOTS.

Date:  Thu 28 March – Sun 21 April (no show Mondays)

Time: Tues-Sat 9:15pm, Sun 8:15pm

Venue: Tower Theatre, The Coopers Malthouse, 113 Sturt St

Tickets: $32-$24

Duration:  60 mins duration – Rating: 18+

Bookings: 03 9685 5111 or online at www.malthousetheatre.com.au and www.comedyfestival.com.au

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Have a wonderful time, and make sure you let us know about all the awesome shows you have seen so we don’t miss out!

Liv xx

I just like to smile, smiling’s my favourite – Buddy (Elf)

DINOSAURS WILL BE TAKING OVER MELBOURNE!

 

Did you hear a roar? A stomp? The Dinosaurs are coming!

Have you got dino obsessed little ones in your house? If so, we have just the thing for your school holiday diary!! The Wilsons are so excited to tell you that Jurassic Creatures is set to open in Melbourne this September. These amazing creatures will be taking over St Kilda and we’re pretty sure you won’t want to miss out.

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Jurassic Creatures is an exhibition with over 30 + dinosaurs that will captivate young and old alike. Explore a prehistoric world full of life like moving dinosaurs and be amazed and thrilled as the greatest creatures ever to walk the earth return before your eyes and come alive.

You and the family will get chance to learn all about the dinosaurs 165 million year domination of life on earth. You will watch them move, hear them roar, and from the ripple of their skin to the glint in their eye, you will begin to think that the dinosaurs really are back!

Apart from this amazing animatronics show, you will be able to become a Paleontologist for the day. Children will be provided with their expert digger outfit, and chip away at their very own fossil. Plus there will be many more dinosaur activities to take part in including dinosaur sand painting, dinosaur 3D Jig-saw Land, fossil displays, dinosaur inflatable activity lands, dinosaur eggs to have photos in, walking dinosaurs and so much more.

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School Holidays are coming and this looks like it may be one of those awesome holiday experiences for the whole family. Hey, it may even stop the tricky bath time questions like “Mum, why did the T Rex have such small arms?” …. “Ask Siri darling”

Jurassic Creatures is set to bring all the wonder and excitement of the prehistoric world of dinosaurs back. Get ready to be thrilled as you see Triassic period comes to life!


ENTER OUR COMPETITION TO BE IN WITH THE CHANCE OF WINNING 1xFAMILY PASS

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All the Information

Open from 15 September -14 October – Jurassic Creatures will deliver a realistic animatronics show like no other that will capture the imagination of children & parents everywhere.

The event includes:

  • A spectacular dinosaur exhibition with realistic animatronics
  • An Interactive Fossil digging area
  • Dinosaur Sand painting
  • 3D Jigsaw Land
  • Dinosaur Inflatable Activity Lands
  • Plus so many other dinosaur activities for the whole family

Melbourne get ready to feel the Dino-Roar!

JUST THE FACTS

What Jurassic Creatures

When Saturday 15 September 2018 – Sunday 14 October 2018

Where St Kilda Triangle, adjacent to Palais Theatre

Cost

General Admission $31.56. Family Ticket $99.44 (2 adults, 2 children). Under 2 year old are free – Sessions are 3 hrs each

Website www.jurassiccreatures.com.au Tickets Ticketmaster

“Tesco is ‘Smashing’ back to school!”

Smash Enterprises have only gone and created EVEN MORE bloomin’ awesome stuff for on the go eating in the UK!!!  We have been so thrilled with the products we’ve had from Smash so we were absolutely going to jump at the chance to tell all our UK friends about their newest range! Smash Enterprises are about to launch some super new products in Tesco, which you may like to check out.. ASAP…… Like NOW! Grab your bag, keys, water bottle (make it a Smash one), and hit Tesco’s please…

Wait till you see this…… **The caaaaat!!!! OMG!

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The end of the school year is a massive deal in the life of a kid and in the life of a parent too. That summer term is a killer! The most exhausting (and hot) term of the year, then they throw sports day in to the mix! Hellooooo! The children are tired, ready for a huge break, and in my case, I’m absolutely ready to throw all evidence of the school year in the bin, including the grumpy kids. The smelly lunch boxes and the disgusting pencil case *usually graffitied and full of pencil sharpening’s mixed with blu tac or slime. The little bits of rubbish, the scrunched up homework from week 7 and the reminder that for three weeks of the summer term your child lived on marmite sandwiches alone as the fruit is rotting in the bottom of the backpack. I have been known to open the bin and kiss goodbye to a whole heap of school paraphernalia only to regret not simply washing it come the new school year!

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This one comes with the lot!!

In all honestly, when it comes to my ‘back to school prep” I tend to leave it to the VERY last minute. Mostly because the summer holidays run away with me and I forget when term begins, but also because we all relax way too much and that relaxation turns our brains to jelly!

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Summer adventures…

However,  when I saw this new collection making it’s way into Tesco, I knew that it would definitely give me, and other UK Mums, the kick up the behind to get in early and sort out the lunch boxes for the new school year. If you’re the person in charge of school supplies in your home, this is where you can gain brownie points from your little darlings and take away the stress of “back to school”. Let’s be honest we all have a love/hate relationship with Back2School.

 

Not only have the clever Smash designers come up with some great new “only available in Tesco” designs, but they have kept those awesome features that us mums love about Smash products. The germ resistant liners, the nude food tubs to save us from the single use plastic and for those of us with older kids, the more funky styles that are so hard to come by. Anyone else have a fussy 10 yr old…? What a bizarre age that is! “I love glitter… I hate it, it’s so cool… it’s so uncool… oooh flowers…..!!”

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Holiday snacks

Tesco will be stocking a brand new range of awesome Smash products from Wednesday 25th July.. Yes, that was yesterday!!!! That means you need to grab your diary, NOW, cross out this afternoon’s play date, save swimming for another day, push the movies to tonight, and get to Tesco before they sell out. There truly is limited stock, it’s not a joke!

This Aussie style ‘lunch luggage’ is going to bounce out of the supermarket like a kangaroo chasing a wallaby, and you don’t want to be the only parent who forgot about the most ‘Smashing’ lunch boxes in town do you?

Show your kids your “Smash Attitude” and be one of the first parents in line for this new range.

Stationary that’s light years ahead of the rest!!

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Ever since I was a child I’ve had this almost obsessive craving for brand new stationary. Not sure if it was the newness, the smell, the thought that maybe with a brand new pad I could create a masterpiece. I would convince my parents to spend shed loads of money on new pens, notepads and all sorts of wonderful files and folders, under the premise of lots of hard work that term! Um… I would start off well.. I’d immaculately write my name on said items, then spend the rest of the year scribbling boys names and enormous love hearts all over them. Pretty sure “I love East17” was in amongst it. My kids are no different, however the stationary today is much cooler.

What’s new?

Nothing’s really changed in my love of stationary, I buy a lot, and I manage to keep it tidy for a few days…. However, Big W have just got a brand new range of stationary which I’m certain will save me from scrawled memos and lost invoices forever!!! Yes, the clever peeps at ‘Smash’ have been at it again. This time they’re making the whole family fall in love with endless supplies of dreamy desk delights.

‘This new range is out of this world! ‘Imagine, Explore and Inspire’ your next ‘Master Plan’ (and your ‘Plan B’!) with our new Neo Galaxy Stationery Range.’- Smash

What do we love about this stationary in particular?

Apart from my inner magpie loving the “shinyness” of the Neo Galaxy range, I also love that they have thought of everything. The quality is great (there’s no way those folders are tearing under the pressure of NAPLAN, or the binders will buckle under the weight of all my endless paperwork) and the designs are suitable for all ages. The kids really loved the space designs, the colours and the stapler…. of course…. The sticky notes don’t curl up like other brands, ***HURRAH, and excuse me whilst we tear up over the incredibly cute little paper clips…..

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Yes, the Wilson’s have been checking out the new Neo Galaxy range of stationary, available from the 15th July in Big W… just in time for back to school, or even for you mamas out there whose home/work life needs some pimping.

Best things about this particular range?

It’s unisex! Yes, it’s purple, but in our house and many across the land, purple is super cool for one and all!

It’s funky no matter your age! The whole family like this range, which makes sharing a little tricky, but means we all have matchy, matchy coordinated workspaces.. Pretty sure I’m still the only one actually working here though!

I have styled the kids desks to show you why it’s definitely good for all…

So, bottom line is….. head down to your local Big W and get your hands on some of this Neo Galaxy stationary before it disappears in to a ‘black hole’ (or other people’s homes). You’ll be thrilled with it, and the kids will love you to infinity and beyond, I promise xx

Tell them you love them “to the moon and back” with a desk full of Neo Galaxy stationary!

Available in store at Big W from 15th July 2018

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Everyone LOVES a sticky note!!

Asda are”Smashing” packed lunches for the UK!!

ASDA_BTS-UK18Since Smash Enterprises smashed their way into the UK, they are making shopping for lucnch gear a whole lot easier for frazzled parents to cope with.  The Wilson’s are huge fans of the collections, and every year we crush on them a little more than the last! *How do they do that??

UK friends, hold your breath!

You are about to get their newest range, hitting ASDA stores from today!!!

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This skate look is pretty cool for all ages!!

Asda are stocking brand new Smash products right now…..

…which your kids are not only going to love, they are going to be begging you for! Every base is covered, from unicorn lovers to dinosaur fans, to your more grown up “style conscious” kids. I know first hand how hard it can be “it has to be a BLUE DINOSAUR WITH GREEN LEGS MUMMMM” Yes, more awesome stuff for on the go eating, for even the fussiest kids around!

Stop the press…… **The sequins!!!!!

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Smash are experts in Back to School! We know what kids need at different stages of their school life, and we know what parents expect from the products they buy. Parents love the reliability of Smash.’  – Smash Enterprises

Summer is well and truly here for the UK (how hot has it been??) and it’s the perfect time to get some of that Back2School stuff done before the kids are on holidays and whinging in your ears. Buying all the ‘lunch gear’ as soon as it hits Asda means that not only have you ticked one chore off the list of many, the kids can spend the summer holidays outside exploring nature, and eating on the go with one of the funkiest lunch collections on the market! Come on, we all love the kids going outside to play…..all day!

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Have a lovely day son!!! *locks door behind him

When the kids and I saw this new Asda collection from Smash, we knew that it would be a hit. There’s a design for every child, the drinks bottles have great new matt colours which are really funky, and Smash have come up with even better ways to keep your kids food fresher than ever before. We love the gel packs for keeping food at the right temperature, and the magic lining that makes sure the germs are kept at bay! Happy mum right here!

If your job title this summer is ‘person in charge of lunches’ this is where you can get ahead of the game, and nail a Back2School job too. Let’s be honest we all have a love/hate relationship with the constant holiday food consumption, so why not grab an awesome new lunch box and serve up ‘packed lunches’ every day this summer. *Lunch that they make THEMSELVES!!! What’s in the box is what they get, FULL STOP!

 

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Asda will be stocking this brand new range of awesome Smash products from 10th July.. That’s today!! Like… NOW!! There’s no excuse to miss out!

Throw the kids at Granny and head to Asda before they sell out. Stock is limited so don’t wait until tomorrow! This Aussie born lunch style is not going to be around long enough for you to leave purchasing until the last minute.

Show your kids your “Smash Attitude” and be one of the first parents in line for this new range.

Olivia xx

Disney on Ice is here- Get your skates on before it sells out!

We went to ‘Disney on Ice Celebrates 100 Years of Magic’ last night at Hisense Arena in Melbourne and we’re pretty sure your little Disney fans will love you forever if you book tickets!! This is promising to be one of the top winter holiday activities.

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The show starts with a bang as always; everyone loves an opener, however, there’s not much getting away from Disney’s tried and tested formula, even for this celebration of ‘100 years of Magic!’  (Expect lots of Frozen!) Do not despair though, you’ll be relieved to see a couple of new faces, such as Genie from Aladdin and Mulan. This is where the talent of the skaters really comes out. An enormous Chinese Dragon, flying across the ice, not a paw out of rhythm.  *Our favourite part of the show!

The audience was a sea of Elsa dresses and Mickey ears, glowing swords and sparkly wands. My kids are “too old to dress up” apparently, and they were definitely in the minority, so don’t be afraid to let loose and dig out your Cinderella ballgown!!

The show was like all Disney on Ice shows before it; no expense spared (maybe that’s why it’s a pricey night out). A full snow storm, exciting pyrotechnics, top-quality costumes, and an insanely talented cast of ice dancers.

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Full of energy, full of Disney magic and full of all your favourite Disney characters…. (**Apart from Moana….Sad face!) Disney on Ice 2018 should absolutely be on your holiday to-do list.  With a whopping 14 stories told, 30 classic Disney songs belted out, and wonderful props, including a sweet little boat which takes some very excited audience members out onto the ice and an enormous turtle; who’d want to miss that??

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Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic 

 Tickets are on sale now at www.Ticketek.com.au/DisneyOnIce.

2018 National Tour Dates

Melbourne – Hisense Arena, Melbourne                                5 – 10 July          (Thurs – Tues)

Newcastle – Newcastle Entertainment Centre                    13-15 July               (Fri – Sun)

Sydney – Qudos Bank Arena, Sydney Olympic Park          18- 23 July             (Wed – Mon)

Feld Entertainment encourage patrons to source tickets through the authorised ticketing agents appointed by our Disney On Ice venues. The authorised ticketing agent for all cities is Ticketek (www.Ticketek.com.au/DisneyOnIce)There are significant risks in buying from other sources. 

OzPanto – British Expat fun at its best!!

 

SLEEPING BEAUTY A KNIGHT AVENGER’S TALE

Sleeping Beauty tells the story of Princess Aurora, who by a single prick of her finger is put to sleep for 100 years. Doomed by fate, only a Prince’s sweet kiss can break the spell and awaken the sleeping beauty. 

 

The Wilson’s rugged up and headed into Melbourne to the Comedy Theatre for opening night of Bonnie Lythgoe’s latest Oz Panto, Sleeping Beauty! What a fab family night out!

For all you British expats out there, you will be pleased to hear this is proper British panto… with a sprinkling of Oz! If you’re anything like me you’ll get all homesick this time of year. It feels like we should be celebrating all things Christmas but it’s June and not even remotely Christmassy! Having said that, this pantomime is absolutely the perfect ‘winter’ pick me up for the whole family! OzPanto is by no means a cheap imitation of panto; this is true, old fashioned pantomime with all the singing, dancing, cracking jokes and cheesy lines. It’s exactly what winter in Australia needs!

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Our faves:

Rhonda Burchmore plays the wicked fairy ‘Carabosse’. Rhonda stole the show with her terrfying presence, huge voice and her incredible legs. Yes I said it! Green eyed monster right here! Carabosse brought the theatre alive with “Boo’s” every time she stepped on to the stage, just as panto should be.

Kev Orkian as ‘Silly Billy’ made us all belly laugh. There were tears streaming down our cheeks at points throughout, and it was all down to his impeccable timing and hilarious stage presence.

The Dancers -Wow, the incredible dancers. The children were full of energy and super talented. Absolute stars in the making.


 

British Expats or Aussie this is a must see! For the Brits it will take you back to your childhood, and for the Aussies, it’s a wonderful introduction to the timeless art of British Pantomime.  Bonnie Lythgoe has brought the true magic of pantomime all the way to Australia for our families to enjoy, which means our expat kids aren’t missing out on what used to be a family tradition back home!

Grab your tickets now!

You’re guaranteed dazzling costumes, stunning sets, magic, breath taking special effects, side splitting comedy, and sensational musical numbers. A massive hit for all ages.

www.ozpanto.com


Melbourne

VENUE: Comedy Theatre, 240 Exhibition Street, Melbourne

DATES: Friday 29 June – Sunday 8 July

PRICES: VIP $89.95 / A Reserve $69.95 / B Reserve $59.95 Plus Family tickets available

BOOKINGSTicketmaster.com.au or 1300 11 10 11

 Sydney

VENUE:  State Theatre, 49 Market Street, Sydney

DATESFriday 13 July – Sunday 22 July

PRICES: from $52.95 to $97.95 plus Family tickets available

BOOKINGSTicketmaster.com.au or 1300 139 588

STOMP straight to the box office Australia!!

 

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We headed into Melbourne for the opening night of STOMP! I have always wanted to see the show, but never had the chance! Oh my…  it exceeded all of my expectations. If you have seen the posters and heard the buzz, you know NOTHING!! You have to see and hear it to believe it, and even then you wont believe your ears or your eyes.

For someone who struggles to put one foot in front of the other some days, the rythmn that the cast have firing through their veins is just mind blowing. I mean, who on earth can bounce a basketball in a rhythmic way, alongside 7 other people, THEN PASS THE BALLS AROUND WHILST STILL BEING IN TIME AND CREATING MELODY...?

STOMP has become a global phenomenon over the last 26 years and has been performed for over 12 million people in 55 countries across six continents. There’s a good reason it’s such a hit!!

 Eight incredible performers create musical magic from all sorts of everyday items, including a humble supermarket trolley! (I have since tried this rhythmic trolley magic in Woolworths and was asked to leave after frightening a small child)!

I don’t want to ruin the magic for anyone going, so I won’t tell you too much.. Just know that if you book to go and see STOMP you will be blown away by 8 cast members who’s connection through the sound they are making, creates a show that will not only have you tapping away at your kitchen bench as soon as you get home, but will give you the most tingly goosebumps, and an insane urge to see if you could recreate THAT SOUND….

Zippo lighters, bin lids, and even the kitchen sink are used to hammer out an explosively feel-good rhythm.  Trust me, you won’t be able to resist having a go.

The choreography, the connection between the cast members, the industrial percussion, and continuous comedy made this one of the best shows Mr W and I have seen on stage. Mouth wide open kinda stuff!! Go and see it when it STOMPS into your city!! *see what I did there?

“BIG, NOISY AND IRRESISTIBLE” – Sun Herald, Sydney 

“BRILLIANT AND VERY FUNNY” – The New York Times


SYDNEY

8 shows on

Show Dates

Melbourne – Comedy Theatre 1st May – 6th May 2018 (BOOK)

Gold Coast – The Star 31st May – 3rd June 2018 (BOOK)

Adelaide – Adelaide Entertainment Centre 6th June -10th June 2018 (BOOK)

Sydney – Capitol Theatre 31st July – 6th August 2018 (BOOK)


 

*Photo’s courtesy of STOMP TOUR

Why the Wilson’s have fallen for ‘The Staycation!’

Just to add some immediate irritation to your reading, I want to let you know I am writing this poolside, overlooking Melbourne at Crown. I’d like to say I was lying here in a bikini, all tanned, sipping on a large cocktail, but I’d be lying. After a few too many amazing Melbourne burgers, too much wine, and chocolate eating, I am actually lying here, fully clothed, glaring at the kids for jumping into the pool! Believe me, it’s bliss compared to being at home and telling them repeatedly not to put their dirty hands on the walls or steal spoonfuls of Nutella out of the pantry! *Only mum is allowed to do that….

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Mr W booked a staycation for this weekend. Oh I can’t tell you how much I have been looking forward to this. Just getting away from the laundry is good enough for me to be honest, but staying in your own city means you can really switch off, put your feet up and relax. No stress to get up early and sightsee, no fast paced trips round the local museums, no dragging your kids out of the pool because you have four more “must see” spots to visit before check out.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love going away, exploring new places, trawling the kids round ancient monuments, and making them try obscure foods that make their faces scrunch. This though, is just so good.

The Wilson’s were “staycation” virgins until now. As you know, we love travelling, and we’re usually quick to save our cash to go somewhere new… However, I’m now thinking staycations could be a regular thing for us. How many amazing hotels can we try in Melbourne I wonder?

We checked in to Crown yesterday, all ready for a snooze filled weekend. The kids lives are massively busy, and the Mr and I have been working full on for weeks. We were all exhausted. We got to the room and leapt into bed. Aren’t those black out curtains in hotels AMAZING?! You can convince the kids it’s actually bed time even though it’s 5:45pm. The ‘snooze sesh’ didn’t last long. Living in Melbourne means the kids know exactly what is downstairs and they were fighting the zz’s and hyper for the movies, and the roulette and blackjack tables… Kidding!

Image - Crown Resorts
Image – Crown Resorts

Mr W and I reluctantly dragged ourselves out of bed… Of course the first thing we had to do was eat, because we can’t ever go anywhere without eating… We headed down to Guillaume. For those of you who don’t know this restaurant, it’s introduction on the website explains all:

Inspired by the popular neighbourhood bistros of Paris, Bistro Guillaume offers a menu rich with French classics in a stylish setting on the Crown Riverwalk.  
 
The service style is relaxed and diners are encouraged to sit back and enjoy good French food and wine in an unpretentious atmosphere. 

The food is amazing, the service was beautiful…. If only the customers were as unpretentious as the restaurant promises it is. One of my pet hates about eating out is that if you have children, people seem to think you have to eat in shit restaurants. As soon as we walked in you could feel the eyes. Couples in the ‘Autumn of their lives’, turning to look. To be fair Poppy hadn’t even sat down before she was spreading butter on the bread, and herself, however….

The food and wine was divine. We ate, the kids made the most of the wifi, and we left. Oh I love French food and free internet connection.

150715-Melb-Restaurants-Premium-BistroGuillaume-Restaurant-974x676-01
Image – Bestmenus.com.au

Yesterday was a warm day in Melbourne. 32 degrees and exceptionally windy. We didn’t need to be out and about so we made the most of the pool on the 27th floor. What a view! The children quickly made some friends so Mr W and I chilled on the loungers whilst the other parents were on pool duty.. (remember that awesome tip right there)… Got to love a hotel pool.

Room service was a must on our staycation list. There is nothing more satisfying than siting in your undies, air con blasting, nice and warm under the sheets, watching tv and eating a huge club sandwich! Total bliss right there. As soon as I had taken my last mouthful and was ready to lie down, the kids were up, dressed again and begging to go for a walk… Arghhhh I must try harder to teach them the art of hotel relaxation! *someone have my kids for the weekend!!

Off we went back down in the elevator, two VERY tired kids, one sleepy dad and a very full mum.

Turned out to be a beautiful evening stroll in this wonderful city! However, Mr W ended up carrying a yawning Monty through the hotel, Poppy and I behind begging him to slow down a little. The walk to the lift was made so much more exciting by the super slinky show gals heading to their show, whilst the numerous bars burs into life… * exactly where Mr W and I would rather be at this precise moment… In to the elevator…. Bed time!!

 

Sunday morning, after a great sleep, and hurrah no hangover, it’s time for the hotel brekkie! *insert dancing mama emoji right here! This is a big one for us. The Wilson’s love a hotel breakfast! Poppy always heads straight for the sweet pastries and the hash browns, Monty gets a huge pile of bacon and a pain au chocolate,(every time…) Mr W and I do the strategic breakfast buffet eating. Start one end and make sure you’ve tried at least one of everything before going back to the start again! We’ve mastered the art I can assure you!

So sadly we’re just one more swim before we go; before we head back to normality, back to the laundry and back to preparing the school bags for another week. You know what though, I wouldn’t have it any other way; despite the bags under my eyes, and the little tears on my cheek as we hand back the room key…..  Staycations are absolutely my new fave thing. Enjoying hotels in your own city, not even leaving the building if you don’t want to, has to be one of the best breaks ever!!

Thank you Melbourne, thank you Crown, thank you Mr W… Here’s to another staycation really REAAALLLLY soon! Pretty please!

Olivia xxx

‘Sometimes a break from your routine is all you need’ – Unknown


 

We booked our stay direct with Crown, you can use this link , although there are many other sites you can use.

We collect Crown rewards which allow us to get points on all our purchases in the Crown, and give us free parking. You can join here for free! Worth doing if you visit Crown here in Melbourne or Perth!

If you’re thinking of travelling to Melbourne anytime soon, make sure you check out Crown; not just for your accomodation but for entertainment, family fun, restaurants, bars and the world famous casino. A must see in Melbourne.